Streaks of Blue
by keep-swinging
Summary: "I will take away everything you love Flash, and I will destroy you." Zoom takes Iris and Barry's world collapses. Racing against the clock to find Iris and stop Zoom, he's blindsided by the fact that Zoom may be someone he's known all along. / season 2, cannon up to 2x09; westallen angst and romance, cisco&barry friendship. five-shot. now complete.
1. in my vision

~Author's Note~

Now turned into a five-shot! This could also fall under the categories **romance** and **angst**. Zoom would also be a charater tag for this, if it was one of the choices. Read, enjoy and review! :)

 **Rated Teen because** of mild language, slight violence, suggestive themes and creepy Zoom.

 **Notes:** Takes place after 2x09. Patty isn't taken yet, and she doesn't know Barry's the Flash.

* * *

 _Streaks of Blue_

* * *

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay, Iris? I can come with you if you want me to, I mean Cisco and I were just going to have a movie marathon at the Lab but he'd understand if I canceled—"

Iris waved her best friend off, rolling her eyes at this new overprotective trait Barry had gained since Wally had shown up. With a dismissive exhale she handed him his cup of hot chocolate (which he took appreciatively) before taking a sip from her own and ignoring the scorn as the scalding liquid slipped down her throat (she didn't mind the feeling either, because it was at least ten degrees outside and snowing).

"Barry, I'll be _fine_. Wally's been around for five days now and he's not capable of hurting a fly. Though this new overprotective side of you is something I've never seen before," she teased, Barry sighing as they headed towards the front doors of Jitters.

He tugged his coat closer to his body before balancing his cup of hot chocolate with one hand and using the other to push open the door, the two getting smacked by a chilly gust of wind as they headed outside.

"It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that I don't like you going off alone after what happened on Christmas with Weather Wizard and Trickster. Plus, Zoom is still out there."

It was a sore topic and Barry's tone of voice switched instantly over to one of stiff abhorrence as soon as the evil speedster's name was approached.

Iris shivered as a burst of snow washed over them, petty snowflakes falling into her curled hair and landing in Barry's disheveled locks. The coat she was wearing didn't seem to be doing enough to conserve her body heat and Barry noticed her discomfort immediately; moving close to her and slinging an arm around her shoulders. Iris huddled into his chest, grateful for the warmth now encircling her (as she had discovered a few weeks before, her best friend was like a walking heater).

"Thanks Bear," she whispered, feeling him nod against her as he rested his head on top of hers and guided them down the snowy street.

The only sounds surrounding them for a few moments was the muffled chatter of people hurrying home around them, the soft whistles of wind from the storm and their shoes squashing into the snow below them in gentle footprints.

His warmth was alluring to her and she almost forgot the conversation at hand, until someone's horn blared from the busy road besides them and caused her to jump. Barry chuckled softly, rubbing a hand over her arm in a soothing motion. "Hey, it's alright," he murmured, "it was just a car. You're good."

Iris snubbed the butterflies in her stomach at his words, as she had been doing since his confession so many months before.

Something had happened to her when he told her that he loved her, either something broke or something clicked because whenever he was around—whenever he showed her the slightest amount of extra affection—her heart would beat wildly and her stomach would be overtaken by a trillion petite butterflies (and _yes_ , she knew how cliché it sounded and _yes_ , she was ashamed by her high-school-crush-like-emotions).

The answer was already written in stone, because she understood it so damn _clearly_ now, and the answer was that she loved him too. She always did, but Iris was a stubborn one and she didn't want to risk their friendship; to believe that they had something more.

But they did and now it was too late, because Barry was with Patty (and as much as Iris wanted to hate her, she couldn't because Patty was a nerdy little sweetheart—just like her Barry) and he was happy.

Iris would never shatter Barry's happiness, not after all he's been through.

Barry kept a gloved hand resting on the side of her waist as they headed towards CCPD, where they had decided they would part ways (with Barry heading to S.T.A.R Labs for a movie marathon with Cisco and Iris out to dinner with her little brother).

Iris had listened to Barry talk energetically about Cisco and his plans since Christmas, because it would be a rare night where Caitlin wouldn't be there with them because she was going out with Jay for a little while, and listening to him was like trying to grab a kid going haywire in candy store.

Though Iris didn't mind, she could listen to Barry for hours without issue.

"I won't be alone though, Bear," she commented, attempting to direct her mind towards the conversation they were having before she got sidetracked by her own musings, "Wally will be there and I'm sure he's perfectly capable of sending death glares at muggers waiting to take my purse."

Barry glanced down at Iris, shaking his head in dismay at her playful attitude about the matter.

He was worried about what Zoom's next move would be, considering there had been no activity near the portals or any new meta-humans around since Cisco had shot him with the speed reducing serum. Barry was beyond worried (freaking out, actually) about what he was planning.

The speedster's silence wasn't comforting. It was terrifying.

"But he doesn't know about how dangerous Zoom is, or half the crap we've been dealing with this past year." He tugged her closer to his chest as they crossed a hectic intersection, Iris responding once they avoided getting hit by a careless truck.

"Barry. We'll be fine. If it makes you feel better, I'll text you throughout dinner, okay? We haven't heard from Zoom since," she stops short, her next words dying on her lips.

Barry senses her unsaid apprehension on the subject and finishes for her, "Since he broke my back."

Iris bites the inside of her lip as another surge of bitter wind plows into them, screeching in their ears.

"We haven't heard from him since that. If he was going to do something, he would've done it already. Central City choose a side and it choose the Flash. Zoom's ultimate goal is to turn everyone against you and he failed. I think he's staying away for a little while. I also think you need to let yourself relax for once. Everything's fine. Take a breather, Bear, alright?"

Barry said nothing for a few tense seconds and Iris could tell he was inwardly debating the right words, trying to figure out if it was truly okay to just let himself _relax_ or to continue worrying day in and day out. It wasn't until they turned the corner and the police department building stood proudly in front of them did Barry reply.

"Okay."

Iris smiled at his agreement, reaching a hand down to the ground when he wasn't looking and grabbing a handful of snow. "Iris what are you—"

Before he could finish, he ended up sputtering from the snow that had been thrown in his face, wiping at his eyes as Iris laughed childishly from her spot next to him. Barry sent her a pointed look, lips splitting into a beam as he bent down and grabbed a wad of snow, making a perfectly rounded snowball.

Iris' eyes went huge as she held her hands up in surrender.

"Barry, no. Don't you dare, it is freezing out here and I don't want to have to pick out any more snow out of my hair than I already have to."

He smirked, "You started it."

Then an all-out, classic West-Allen snowball war commenced in the parking lot of CCPD.

Iris won.

Barry got a total of fifteen bruises for getting snow in her hair.

* * *

"I swear to God, Barry, if your phone goes off _one_ more time I'm going to throw this bowl of popcorn at your head." Barry sent Cisco an apologetic smile, unlocking his phone and dodging the un-popped kernel his friend lodged at him anyway.

"I'm sorry man, I'm just worried about Iris."

Cisco scoffed, swallowing the handful of popcorn before raising an eyebrow in question and speaking. "Dude, she's at dinner with her brother. What's there to be worried about?" Barry shrugged, sending a text back to Iris before locking his phone and stuffing it back into his jeans pocket.

The two were seated in front of the row of computers towards the front of the Lab, where Cisco had rigged the screens to play as one huge movie-theater-like playback. So far, they had made it through The Matrix, Inception, Back to the Future II, and now they were halfway through the lineup of Star Wars movies next on their list.

All throughout their movie marathon, however, Barry had been texting Iris nonstop.

His worries hadn't eased in the slightest.

"I'm worried about the unknown, Cisco. I mean, Zoom could come back any moment with an army of meta-humans behind him. Or he could bring over our doppelgangers and cause literal hell. Speaking of, where's Harry at?"

Cisco shook his head, "Out checking the portals or whatever. I'm just about done with any version of Wells at this point."

It was close to midnight on December thirtieth and Iris' last text to Barry was about how Wally and she were just finishing up talking and about to head home (which was a relief for Barry to hear, his nerves were shot by now). Barry's phone vibrated again and he pulled it out in lightning speed, speed-reading the text from Iris and loudly exhaling in reprieve.

Cisco groaned noisily, throwing a handful of popcorn at the speedster's head, all of which Barry avoided easily. He typed back his answer to Iris before sliding his phone across the table and crossing his hands behind his head, leaning back in the chair peacefully.

"She's heading home now. Wally isn't walking her but I figured as much because Iris is as stubborn—"

"See dude? I told you, nothing was gonna happen. Now, _shush_ my favorite part is coming up!" Barry chuckled as he directed his attention to the movie playing on screen, finally able to unwind.

The calm didn't last long however, because not even five minutes after did beeping start to come from the corner of one of the computer screens, signaling that a live broadcast was loading onto the emergency alert system for Central City.

Cisco and Barry send confused looks to each other, Cisco dropping his feet from the table and pausing the movie as he brought up the channel, black and white static staring back at them. Barry stood up slowly and walked over next to his friend, leaning down next to him and gazing intently at the screaming screen.

Cisco typed a few codes in, clicking his tongue when nothing changed.

"Maybe the channel has a glitch and the government's trying to fix it. I mean, 12:01 in the morning would be a great time to do it?"

Barry shook his head, "No, the channel isn't supposed to be used unless an nationwide—"

His voice catches in his throat when the fuzz disappears and is replaced by Zoom's face on screen. He's holding the camera himself and Barry can see each separate crevice in his mask, blue electric fizzling and zapping around his form, eye slits holding malice-filled eyes behind them and suit ominous in the dim lighting of the room he's standing in.

He chuckles lowly as he directs the camera away from himself, flipping around so that it is instead focusing on the gagged woman slumped on the floor behind him.

"Holy shit," Cisco breathes, already typing away rapidly on the keyboard to try and triangulate Zoom's location, Barry's hands shaking as they hold tightly onto the table (so tightly that his skin is pulled taut and phantom white).

"Hello Central City," he growls, and it seems like his abysmal voice is rumbling through the Lab, trembling down Barry's spine, "I hope you all had a _joyful_ Christmas."

The clacking of the computer keys is mute in Barry's ears and all of his senses are deaf to everything else happening around him—he can't hear the constant ping from the computer attempting to track Zoom's location, he can't smell the buttery popcorn spilled forgotten on the polished floor next to them, he can't feel the cool metal under his fingers and he can't see Zoom.

All he can see is Iris.

Zoom has her thrown sloppily in the corner of the room they're in; her wrists are bond behind her back with punitive white rope snug around them, a dirty gag tied around her mouth so she can't speak and her eyes are filled with so much fear that it causes Barry's blood to boil.

"I'm sure some of you thought my absence meant the Flash had defeated me. You. Thought. _Wrong_. I know who the Flash is under the mask. If you strip away the suit, the mask, the powers," he laughs and it causes Barry's stomach to churn with uneasiness, "you will find nothing but a spineless man underneath. The Flash is not your savior, Central City. I am."

Barry gritted his teeth together, barely able to get out four words to Cisco without exploding. "Where is he, Cisco?"

"I-I don't know, the signal keeps bouncing around like mad. I'm not a professional hacker—"

"Do you have the remote area, Cisco?"

Barry's attention is caught by the live feed again when Iris tries to speak from behind her gag, the only thing escaping being muffled exhales. The camera shakes and Barry can just picture the wicked grin behind the demon's mask, the malevolent sneer hidden there.

He can feel himself vibrating with so _much_ anger and the next thing Barry knows is that he's running out of S.T.A.R Labs and into the city—without his suit. Cisco's frantic voice over his ear-comm reaches him not even a second later as Barry weaves through moving cars with ease and races through the city's crowed streets. "Barry! Dude, your suit!"

"I don't _care_ Cisco!" Barry snaps without meaning to and he can just visualize the man flinching from his harsh tone.

But he doesn't care, because Zoom has Iris.

 _Zoom_ _has Iris_.

"J-Just give me a location!"

The rage is clouding his vision, burning through his veins, thrashing in tenor with the speed force vying within him. Barry can hear the live feed through the ear-comm and he feels like it's repeating around him from all of the televisions scattered through Central City—he feels like he can hear _every_ single one.

"I'm going to show you why heroes always die. I'm going to show you your hero, kneeling broken before me. Heroes like the Flash," Zoom drags out each letter like it's poison spreading through his mouth, like a sour aftertaste from a bad meal; "care too much about others. About keeping them safe. I said I knew who the Flash was under the mask, when he's stripped down to just a man."

Cisco's worried voice cuts through the broadcast like a sharp knife in Barry's ear, "Start searching near the park, I have the location narrowed down to the bottom of Central. From the looks of it, they're either in a warehouse or old garage."

Barry says nothing, pushing himself as fast as he can go as he zooms to the bottom half of his city; zipping up each street and checking each place he can find as fast as he can. "And the most important thing to the Flash, when he's stripped down to just a man, is this woman. Iris West."

"You're getting closer Barry, the signals almost locked on, just hold on."

"Central City, if you didn't already know, heroes are _nothing_ without the thing they treasure most in the world. Isn't it funny that you can end someone with something so . . . simple?"

"Barry, I got it! The warehouse to the left of you, thirty blocks down, hurry!"

"Your hero is nothing, Central City. The Flash is nothing without this woman."

"Barry he dropped the camera. Hurry, I think he's about to run."

"I will take away everything you love Flash, and I _will_ destroy you."

The feed cuts out with a deafening click throughout the city, a whoosh of blue the last thing everyone sees. Barry makes it to the warehouse Cisco had guided him to but it's too late and Zoom is gone. Iris is gone.

"Barry," Cisco mumbles anxiously, reaching up and running his hands through his hair, "they're gone."

* * *

"Joe, I've searched everywhere. A hundred times over. Zoom's taken her and it's all my fault! I can't find her!"

It's been a week. A week since Iris' disappearance.

New Years passed without celebration wine and heavy with despair. Everyone had taken the news different. Joe had been keeping up a near impeccable nonchalant façade, working nonstop hours at CCPD to try and find any leads about where his little girl was. Barry knew he was close to breaking, but he was already _at_ the breaking point—already so lost, already so deprived of hope.

Joe took Barry by the shoulders, shaking him slightly. "Don't lose hope on her, Barry, don't. You're the fastest man alive. We are going to find her." And the sincere tone in Joe's words had Barry's heart _aching_. Aching for Iris.

"Joe, I've tried everything. I've searched as far as Coast City. Oliver's checked everywhere in Starling. Felicity can't track her."

Patty took the news from a police officer's stance—reviewing the facts, staying closed off as to not get attached to the case (she didn't want a repeat like with what happened with Mardon) and making sure Barry didn't stray too far.

"Zoom has to have a point with that. He must be trying to send us a message—"

Barry cuts Joe off by shoving his hands off him, angrily carding them through his hair. "Yeah, that I will always loose! That I'm not _fast enough_ to save Iris! That he's won, _again_ , and this time he didn't have to break my back to break me!"

Caitlin took the news to heart, because she understood Barry and Iris' dynamic probably better than they did. Wally didn't understand and within a day of questions to Joe, he spilled everything. About Barry being the Flash, about Zoom breaking his back—about everything (and Barry was damn lucky Wally was more of a nerd than a narc). Jay stepped up and offered any help he could, while Harry dragged Cisco to work on building a better serum. A better way to stop Zoom.

Team Flash was hurting, the Flash was hurting.

Barry was dying inside without his other half.

"No son!" Joe shouted, pulling Barry by the forearm, "We are going to get through this and hell if I allow this to destroy you! This is what Zoom wants, Barry! He wants you to break! That's why he took her! To make you his own personal puppet! Son, I need you to not lose hope. We are going to find her. Okay?"

Barry felt the tears before he could process it, Joe pulling his surrogate son into a bone-breaking hug. He patted his back as some tears escaped from Barry, the latter holding tightly onto the back of Joe's shirt.

"I miss her, Joe, a-and I can't . . . I can't stand to imagine what he could be doing to her, what's he's done to her. I don't know who the hell Zoom is but he knows me. He knows me."

His voice cracks a few times and Joe feels his own tears building up, his own wisely-built walls shattering. "We're gonna find her, Bear. We are going to get our girl back."

 _"I'm always gonna protect you Iris, you know that."_

 _"You can't promise that, Bear."_

 _"Like hell I can't. If something happens to you Iris, I'll never be able to forgive myself."_

 _"Well, nothing is going to happen to me. I've got you as my protector, right?"_

 _"Always."_

* * *

It's two weeks before Barry finds her.

Cisco, Caitlin and Jay are manning the computers at S.T.A.R Labs nonstop when they get a ping of abnormal speeds at a warehouse just outside the city.

A portal is then used five seconds after that.

Caitlin calls Barry and tells him to get to that warehouse right that second and he does—filling in Joe with jumbled words before getting out of sight, changing into his suit and running. He gets to the warehouse in record time, zapping to a stop outside and looking all around before vibrating the door so that it falls off the hinges.

He takes two steps forward before his eyes lock on a curled up Iris huddling in the grimy corner.

He speeds over to her side, gently removing the bloody rope from her wrists and gag from her mouth, Iris flinching at his touch but Barry calming her effortlessly with his soft voice (that is shaking so much he's surprised that not the first thing she comments on).

"Hey, hey, Iris, it's me. It's Barry. You're safe now, I got you, alright?" He gently slides her stiff body into his lap, her eyes hands shaking as one of them lifts to touch his cheek—to see if he's real or just a figment of her imagination.

"B-Bear?"

He smiles, grabbing her hand with his own. "Yeah, you're alright Iris. It's me."

She lets out a sound that's a mix between a sob of relief and a hysterical laugh before burying her face into his chest, finding comfort in the indulgent leather of his suit; finding comfort in the warmth that is her Barry.

"Barry . . . y-you came."

He rests his head on top of hers, cradling her close before nodding. "I promised you years ago that I would always protect you and I'm sorry I couldn't, God Iris, I'm sorry I let this happen to you. Did he hurt you?" He feels her shake her head gently against his chest (and his heart is racing so fast Barry's astonished it hasn't jumped out of his throat yet).

"I'm so happy you're here Barry," she whispers, "I was so scared."

Iris lifts her head enough so that they're looking each other in the eyes, green clashing against hazel. Neither know if it's the dense emotions around them, or the fear from what could've happened if they never got to see each other again but within seconds their lips are connected. It's powerful, the kiss, filled with longing and worry and release.

Because they're both safe and _Iris is_ _safe_ and Zoom didn't kill her and Barry's her savior once again.

Barry strokes her mud-ridden cheek with his thumb, the kiss deepening for a moment before they both pull away breathless. They stare at each other a moment more, and Barry's mind is slowly going erratic.

Because his first thought isn't Patty for once. She's not his priority. His priority is getting Iris out of there. That's all that matters to him.

Because if she dies, he dies too.

With a soft grunt he picks her up bridal style and zips her out of there, not stopping until they reach the inside of S.T.A.R Labs. He almost doesn't want to let her go so that Joe can hug her but he does and that's when he sees the small piece of paper Iris is clutching in one shaky hand.

"Iris," he murmurs, the woman in question turning slowly in her dad's arms to face him, "what's that?"

He sees the worry flash across her face, the fear fit across it. With a slow hand Barry reaches forward and grabs her gently by the forearm, pulling her back into a hug. She's still holding tight to the card in between trembling fingers and Barry smoothly takes it from her, shushing her by kissing the top of her head and holding her even closer as he attempts to read Zoom's scratchy handwriting.

 _This is a reminder, Flash, that I can kill anyone you love faster than you can run._

 _This is a reminder that being a hero will kill you faster than anything else._

After reading it, Barry drops the scrap of paper onto the ground and just buries his face into Iris' hair, doing his best to burn the sight of her blood spattered on the card from his memory.

Zoom would not take anyone else on his watch.

And Barry would die before letting him near Iris again.


	2. smeared down my arm

~Author's Note~

Hey guys, super sorry with the wait for this but the site had the bug and other stuff. But, I'm back now. So this is being turned into a **five-shot** , because the reviews you guys left were so sweet, so thank you all so much. This chapter is more from Barry's point of view and the aftermath of how he's feeling but chapter three will have some much needed hurt/comfort westallen we are all waiting for.

I hope you guys enjoy and please—read, review and enjoy! :)

* * *

 _Streaks of Red_

* * *

Barry is lost in his own thoughts for a few moments and doesn't notice Joe calling for him until the older man clasps a hand on the speedster's shoulder. Barry looks up, bewildered, hold slowly loosening on Iris as Caitlin comes up next to him.

"Son," Joe voices quietly, nodding towards Caitlin, "I said that we should let Caitlin look Iris over."

Barry nods dumbly, because the words he wants to speak are still clogged in his throat, refusing to come out. Joe reaches out and gently pulls Iris from Barry's firm grip, guiding her over to the lone bed in the middle of the room—the same bed that was used whenever Barry was injured or bloodied from a meta-human. Barry stays frozen in his spot and his gaze tunnels on the dropped card a few centimeters in front of him, eyes locked in an unwavering stare.

Cisco and Jay watch him wearily from where they're standing by the computers and the worlds seems to slow to a stop in the meantime; the only sounds echoing around them is the soft murmur of Caitlin's voice in the background and Barry's slowed breathing.

"Ramon I think we need to readjust the calibration of the—"

Cisco and Jay jump at the sound of Harry's voice as he enters the room, the latter stopping mid-sentence when he sees the sight of a stressed out Barry Allen still in his suit and now staring attentively at Iris, watching as Caitlin carefully fixes up her wounds.

There's barely a flicker of emotion on Harry's face as he exhales, coming to a stop next to Barry and crossing his arms.

"You saved the girl?" Barry doesn't say anything, registering his words but too lost in thought to respond. Cisco sends a glance Jay's way, the former mouthing something along the words of 'what in the hell is he doing?' before Harry speaks again, voice inconsiderate and uncaring. "Took you long enough, Allen. I guess you need the speed serum more than Garrick does. The next time you'll be fast enough."

The words don't click in Barry's mind until Cisco calls out from his spot by the computers.

"Dude, not cool. Zoom had her. How was Barry supposed to go up against him? Let alone match his speed?" Cisco's words fly pass Barry and the only thing he can hear are the cold words Harry had uttered.

 _The next time you'll be fast enough._

Would Barry always be too slow to compete with Zoom? Would he never get faster? How long would it take, before Barry was able to match Zoom at his speed, or even pass the impossible speeds Zoom could move at? How many people would lose their lives before Barry—the Flash—would be able to get there and save them?

Would he even be able to save them or not, because he would be too damn slow; like how his whole childhood had zipped by him?

All Barry can feel is the guilt swallowing him whole and the rage sweltering inside of him—hell, there's _so much_ rage bubbling through his adrenaline-filled veins—that the next thing Barry knows, is that he's using his speed to shove Harry into the wall a few feet away from where Cisco and Jay are standing. His gloved fingers are digging into Harry's shoulders, heart thrashing like jackhammer, blood pounding in his ears. Barry's face is inches from Harry's and he's breathing heavy, eyes full of current abhorrence.

"She could have _died_ and you have the nerve to _stand_ there—"

"If she would have died, Allen," he interrupts lowly, "then it would have been your fault for not finding her."

Barry shouts out, raising a fist and slamming it into the hard plaster of the wall to the right of Harry's neutral face.

"I searched _everywhere_ for her, I-I-I looked for her every damn second of every damn day and I," Barry pauses, shallow breathing the only sound in the room for a second, "I couldn't find her." His voice finishes in a soft whisper, hands falling to his sides as he leans back on his heels and buries his face into the palms of his hands, letting out a choked breath.

Harry scoffs, smoothing down his shirt's collar and brushing off his shoulders, "The point you're getting across is not for me Allen, and I think it's something you need to tell someone else." Harry pushes past Barry, glancing over Iris' way before leaving the room with a disinterested exhale. "I'm glad you're back."

The words leave his mouth in a heartless mutter as he flips around and leaves the room, briskly walking down the hallway and disappearing out of sight in a matter of seconds.

Barry's shoulders are jerked tight as he rubs at his face and Iris watches her best friend with troubled eyes, struggling to sit up and leave the bed to get to his aid but Joe and Caitlin hold her back; her father shaking his head.

"Cisco."

His head snaps over at Caitlin's distressed tone, and she nods her head towards Barry with weary eyes. Cisco gets the message and gestures his hand in an 'I got it' motion, scrambling past Jay and appearing at the speedster's side. Clasping a hand over top Barry's shoulder, he attempts to guide him towards the exit of the room. "C'mon dude, I think you need a breather. Why don't you come with me—"

"I'm not leaving Iris."

Barry's voice is rimmed with a tone of protectiveness, the same one he had whenever talking to Eddie or whenever other men had gone up to him and asked about if she was taken at the college parties.

Iris can hear it so clearly, because it's so _genuine_ and it's just so _Barry_ , that she waves away her dad's hand and sits up enough so that Barry can see her past Cisco's lax form.

"Bear," and his eyes flicker towards Iris when her temperate voice reaches his ears, "go."

He looks like he's about to argue but there's a hard look in her eyes, one that says she's not allowing him any other choice besides the one she's giving him.

The same look she gave him one night in high school when it was close to four in the morning and he had _so_ much work and she had begged him to go to bed, and he had only given in after that look—after she had grabbed his wrist and had tugged him to bed and then the two had accidentally fallen asleep together (which was one hell of a shock to Joe that morning . . . and which had turned into one long talk that evening).

So Barry gives in and allows Cisco to guide him out of the room, Iris watching him the whole way.

* * *

Cisco directs Barry slowly down the hallway, bringing him to the same balcony Wells (Eobard Thawne) had shown him after he had first awoken up from his nine month coma. Barry walks forward and leans his elbows on the ledge, sighing as he runs his fingers through his messy hair.

His cowl feels suffocating resting around his neck.

Cisco comes up next to his friend, leaning on the cool railing with one arm and facing Barry with understanding eyes.

A few minutes pass until one of them decides to break the silence that's so peaceful around them; because silence _isn't_ going to help Iris get better and _isn't_ going to help Barry find a way to defeat Zoom.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." Barry sees the confusion on Cisco's face and clears up his point after scratching nervously at the back of his neck. "Back when Zoom first took Iris, I um . . . I yelled at you. When I didn't mean to. I was just so," he inhales, grimacing at the remorseful sensation pushing through his body, "scared. I was scared because Zoom . . . Zoom took the one most important thing in my life." Cisco stares at his friend carefully, knowing he isn't finished. "I can't live," Barry gulps silently, "I can't live without Iris, Cisco. Without her, there's no me. There's no Barry Allen. There's no . . . Flash."

"Dude," Cisco laments, directing his attention to the seemingly endless black pit below them, "it's alright. I understand. Everyone can see how much you care about Iris. We aren't blind." He lets out a little laugh that Barry smiles at, shrugging his shoulders.

"I've always cared about her. For as long as I can remember. Like Joe said," he mutters, "I've loved her before I even knew what love was."

The corner of Cisco's lips twitch into a pleasant smile, "You got her back, dude. That's all that matters."

Barry nods, and then his mind trails. Cisco was one of his most trusted friends. He had only known the man for around a year and a half now (Caitlin for that matter too) and yet he trusted him like he had known him for years. Cisco and Caitlin were like family to him and Jay was even edging his way into that tight-knit circle (Wally too) and they were his friends.

The people that mattered.

"Hey, uh, can I um—can I tell you something?"

Cisco peeks at Barry from the corner of his eye jadedly, "If this is a personal problem then hell no—"

Barry's cheeks burn at the proposal and he shakes his head wildly, reaching over and smacking Cisco in the arm. "No, no, nothing like that. More of a . . . girl problem." Cisco's lips morph into something of a mocking creepy-Joker-like grin, and there's the start to a smirk waiting there too.

"Ah, a _lady_ problem, eh? The Flash is just getting all the girls huh?"

Barry's face flushes cherry red as Cisco chuckles, waiting for his friend to elaborate. "I kinda . . . kissed Iris when I found her." The gears in Cisco's head are probably still stuck on trying to think of every inappropriate, cocky joke he can think of—because Barry's certain problem doesn't hit him until he's already speaking.

"Way to go man, about time you guys kissed. Everyone's only had bets on when you two would get together since forever! Oh man, dammit I owe Caitlin twenty bucks—hey, can we not tell her dude, 'cause I'm low on money right now but—wait." He freezes, standing up to his full height and turning on Barry. "You cheated on Patty?"

Barry winces at the accusing tone (because of course it's one of the things he's never planned to _ever_ do) and nods grimly, Cisco letting out a small whistle. "I didn't mean to do it."

"Dude, unless some ghost came along and took over your body, you did mean to do it. Man, I've never pegged you for the 'cheating' type."

Barry groans, "That's because I'm not. It was just a spur of the moment thing. I was so happy that I found her and that she was okay that my emotions just," he murmurs unobtrusively, "got the better of me." Cisco shakes his head, patting his friend's back.

"That's what I said when I kissed Shelby Green senior year of college. I still got slapped."

Barry sends Cisco a pointed look and they end up laughing at each other, the mirth of the fact only disappearing when Barry adds on a somber thought. "I don't know what to do Cisco." The other man chortles, shaking his head.

"I think you know what you have to do, dude."

"I've been in love with Iris for as long as I can remember. I put everything out there when she was dating Eddie and she turned me down. Now I'm with Patty, I'm happy, and I end up screwing it up. I would drop anything for Iris. Anything for her. Even Patty. Because . . . I'm not over Iris, Cisco. I might say I am but I'm not; I was lying. Now we've kissed and I don't think I can live in ignorance anymore. I love her but I don't know if she loves me."

Barry pushes off the railing, carding his fingers through his windswept hair. His suit is bright in the dim light of the room. Cisco sends a curious look to his friend, walking past him with a small smile.

"From what I can see Barry, Iris loves you too."

* * *

"Well, nothing seems to be too bad." Barry walks back into the main room of the Lab when Caitlin is finishing up her inspection of Iris, Cisco trailing behind him. Jay is to the right of her, where Cisco joins, next to Caitlin while Barry joins Joe on the left side of her bed (and he would've reached down and grabbed her hand if Joe hadn't done so already).

"There's nothing life-threatening?" Joe questions to clarify, looking down at his daughter carefully.

Caitlin glances over to Barry, a short conversation passing between them; one where Barry's asking—"Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay."—and Caitlin's responding—"She's fine, she's alright. Are you okay?"—to which he'll finish with a lopsided grin (like the ones he gets when he talks about the Laws of Physics).

It's something they've done a lot since that night where they had gone out and she had a little too much fun at the bar (Summer Nights was something he was never going to _let_ her forget) because it's where their true friendship had started. He's glad they _have_ this type of communication in times like these.

Caitlin turns her attention back to Joe to answer his question, pulling the latex gloves off her hands as she speaks. "No, nothing too serious. There are multiple cuts on her arms and legs, rope burn on both of her wrists, along with a small gash on her neck but besides that and the blood I cleaned up—nothing major. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder might appear later on. But I still want to keep an eye on her so I want her to stay for three days to five days, at least."

Joe takes it all into account with baited breath, looking over at Barry who looks like he could fall over from exhaustion any moment.

The Flash suit looks big on his skinny form (a part of it, Joe knows, is from him recently not eating because not having Iris around was too much for him), and there's dark bags smeared under his eyes. His hair is missing it's usually gelled up stance, fingers twitching with every dull movement in front of him.

"Son," Joe whispers, reaching over and gripping his shoulder, "why don't you go home and get some sleep?" Barry looks baffled at the offer, drowsy eyes lazily locking with Iris' bed-ridden body.

"No, no," he mutters, "I can stay."

Joe shakes his head, "I'll stay. You head home, change out of that suit, get showered and sleep. You need it, Barry. C'mon now. Go." He gently pushes at Barry's shoulder, the younger nodding sluggishly as he sends one last forlorn look Iris' way.

She smiles at him, nodding towards her dad.

"Dad will stay with me. Come on Bear, go. I'll be alright, I promise. Zoom can't get me."

Barry doesn't need any more pushing before he turns and speeds away, papers flying around the room to signal his disappearance. Caitlin looks around distraught as Jay pulls her into his side with a lighthearted chuckle. "I _need_ to get some damn paperweights around here."

* * *

Barry makes it to the West Household in a flurry of muted colors, wind whooshing softly through the home as the door slams behind him.

The fatigue doesn't hit him until he's shuffling upstairs, peeling off his suit on the way up and stripped completely of any clothes by the time he's turning the knob for the shower and jumping under the lukewarm streams of water.

The feel of the pounding water trailing down his backside is comforting and he lets out a harsh breath as it dampens his hair and soothes his aching muscles, uncoiling the knots that had been so tight in his stomach since the moment he had found Iris.

Her final words are swirling around his brain as he massages shampoo into his hair, washing away any traces of the past few days with a simple crusade of the fingers.

 _Zoom can't get me._

Barry wasn't sure if that was true.

Zoom wasn't human. He was a monster that cared only about becoming the fastest man alive—no matter what the cost. He was a thing that only cared about power. He didn't want to be the hero, or the villain for that matter, he wanted to be the king. The leader. The monarch.

The question was silently grinding at his insides—gnawing, decaying—would Zoom come back?

Would be come back and steal Iris back right in front of Barry?

Swipe her when he wasn't looking, just because he could?

Barry finished up his shower with an overwhelming amount of thoughts on his mind, getting changed into a comfy pair of black sweats and a white tee shirt before heading downstairs and collapsing on the couch in a heap of a limbs. He closed his eyes, the thought of Zoom the last thing he thinks of before drifting away into a dreary dreamland.

* * *

He's somewhere cold when his eyes flutter open a while later.

The air around him is bitter and unforgiving, smacking into his bones and hallowing out his insides. He sits up and looks around, seeing what looks like a white wasteland before him; snowflakes falling soundlessly from the cloudy sky above him.

Barry exhales as he stands up, breaths fanning out in front of him in white puffs of smoke, and he looks down and sees that he's in his Flash suit—that there's blood covering him. It's caked over his hands, dried under his fingernails beneath the leather gloves, glued to the sides of his neck and the tangy taste is too strong in his mouth.

"What in the hell," he mutters softly to himself, taking a few steps forward in one direction (and it looks like there's snow beneath him, sounds like his feet are sticking to the ground but looks like nothingness) and everything's muffled in his ears for a while.

It's calming, and peaceful and something Barry's never gotten for too long—but it all shatters to pieces when his eyes lock on the dark form of a figure curled up on the ground a few yards away from him. He can see the curved back of the person, can see the defined hips and creamy skin—the dark hair that could only be hers.

"Iris." It comes out as a hushed mumble, one desperate and pleading as he speeds into brisk walk, body vibrating with uneasiness as he tries to run at super speed but finds that he _can't_.

"Iris!" It comes out louder the second time, brisk and in a shout.

Every time he gets closer to her, Iris seems to deflate more—shoot farther away.

It's like an unrelenting puzzle, a morbid game. Blood puddles lay where her body used to be every time it moves, every time she gets farther away. "Iris! Can you hear me?" From the distance between them, Barry isn't sure if he can hear her respond or not, if it's the wind rustling around him or truly her. But he swears that her head _moves_ , that it turns so tauntingly slowly, that her eyes lock against his even when there's miles between them.

Barry swears he sees her lips move.

Sees them whisper one agonizing, _simple_ word that echoes around him like the lull of a drum.

"Flash."

He doesn't know why she calls him that, because Iris knows him better than the back of her hand, and she knows that it's not _just_ the Flash anymore—it's her best friend under that mask too.

The word causes Barry to try and move faster, only to find that the world is slowing down around him; twisting and spinning and smashing. Before he knows what's happening, he's directly in front of her.

Iris is now standing before him; hand reaching out and caressing his covered cheek, thumb brushing at the open space of pale skin just below his right eye. Barry closes his eyes at her touch, feeling so at home and yet so far, leaning into her hand for a discreet moment. Her other hand reaches out and rests on his lower abdomen, fingers slowly grazing over the bumpy (and extremely bloodstained) leather sitting there.

He feels in harmony with her so close to him, feels so _alive_.

But something isn't right.

Iris' breath is shallow, hands shaking as she struggles to grasp onto him, body trembling at the heat around them, eyes obscure with something he understands all too well. A part of his mind asks the question he's thinking—"Why does this feel so real?"—but he doesn't say it out loud, admittedly afraid of the answer.

So instead he opens his eyes and twirls a stray curl of hers with his ring finger, hand too close to her lips.

Too close to her.

"You aren't real," he murmurs so gently it's equal to the low beat of their heartbeats mixed together, "are you?" Her eyes find his through the tense air surrounding them, shielded and hesitant.

 _This isn't Iris_ , Barry's mind realizes sluggishly, _she isn't my Iris_.

While his brain still struggles for answers, her hands return to her sides.

"No," she pauses and he sees her face twinkle into something dark—something malicious—"I'm your worst nightmare."

Then her skin is cracking away like chipped paint before his very eyes. The yellow bruises on her wrists fade into blue bracelets, the blood on her collarbone crumbling into something like the start to a mask, fingernails becoming extended and sharp, soiled clothes turning into a blue suit, and face morphing into a demon's smirk. Barry takes a few steps back when it's Zoom standing before him, growl emitting from deep within the monster's throat. He chuckles, tilting his head judiciously at Barry.

"You thought you saved her, didn't you Flash?"

Zoom cracks his neck, the sounds of backs breaking resounding throughout the unknown environment around them. "You thought you were _actually_ fast enough," he pauses, shaking his head, "you weren't. She's gone. I won, Flash." He zips forward, demonic claws latching around Barry's neck with an iron grip. "You will never win against me, Flash. I will kill everyone you care about, everyone you hold close and soon there will be no one left for you to protect. What then, Flash? Is it worth being a hero when it's so _easy_ to lose everything?"

Zoom evaporates as Barry is thrown into a different world now, a world of black—shouting out in anger as he tries to block out the sound of Zoom's spiteful laughter.

Then the flashes start.

He doesn't notice them at first, because he's too busy screaming, but then they're right in front of him. It's the people he knows, the people he cares about, being killed in horrific ways. Barry tries to block them out, tries to ignore them but it's like they're scraping at his eyes—hollering in his ears.

First it's Linda getting blinded by too many camera flashes and murdered by someone with a knife who doesn't want their story to be told.

Next it's Caitlin, frostbite covering her from head to toe and dying with lips that are frozen blue.

Then it's Cisco who vibes something that drags him too far, drags him into a mess of meta-humans and bullets and _blood_ and he's shot dead before he can even turn away.

Wally's hauled into the visions and Barry has to watch Zoom toss him off a building because he's not fast enough to save him, fast enough to even _start_ to tell Wally about his second life.

Oliver's filled with ten sharpened arrows through his bare torso, Felicity draped like a ragdoll next to him (six bullet-holes in her stomach) with Zoom standing over them—blue electric dancing and sparkling around the blurred room.

Patty's next and the flashes show her dead by Weather Wizard escaping and electrocuting her so that 'she can be with her father once again' while Barry's forced to watch from the sidelines.

Then, _dammit_ , it's Joe getting a broken back at the hands of Zoom and _not_ recovering.

Finally, the last flash, is Iris. Her arms are jumbled at odd angles, eyes closed and face a sickening shade of ghostly white. She lays lifeless at the feet of Barry as he squeezes her hand and begs to whatever above _to bring her back_ because he _can't_ make it without her and—

"Barry."

The speedster jolts awake at the sound of Joe's voice by his ear, eyes snapping open as he looks around wildly; Joe calming Barry down with a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Hey, hey, it's alright son. Calm down. You were just having a dream."

Joe helps Barry sit up as the latter rubs at his eyes, still feeling the after effects of the dream flooding through his senses. "Yeah, yeah. Just a dream." Joe sighs, taking a seat next to Barry and sending him a curious look.

"Are you alright, Bear? You look pale." Barry brushes him off, glancing over at the clock in the far corner of the room as he replies.

"I'm fine. What's up?" It's near ten in the evening and animals are already hooting outside, bugs chirping. Joe knows that Barry isn't okay but says nothing else of it, letting the matter drop as he leans back on the couch.

"Iris sent me home, said I needed to get some sleep that wasn't in a plastic chair. I wanted to ask if you would be up to staying with her, since she won't let me?" Barry sends a supportive smile Joe's way, nodding his head as he goes to stand up and stretches his arms.

"Of course. I'll call you first thing in the morning to let you know how she's doing."

"Thanks, son."

Barry merely nods as he stretches one last time before speeding out of the house and heading in the direction of S.T.A.R Labs.

The nightmare he that had just plagued him moments before stays on his mind the whole way there.


	3. somewhere far

~Author's Note~

Hey guys, super sorry for the delayed update. Everything has just been a pain. This chapter has all of the westallen hurt/comfort/angst/fluff we've been waiting for so I hope that makes up for the wait. Thank you guys, seriously, for all of the favorites, follows and reviews.

Also, for anyone who's interested, I am hoping to get some new Flash one-shots up this weekend and some more after Tuesday's episode. Hopefully. :)

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

 _Streaks of Green_

* * *

He arrives at S.T.A.R in a gust of color; yellow outlining his arms, orange trailing behind him, red shadowing him and lightning dancing between his eyes.

Caitlin looks up from where she's signing off the Lab's computer, sending Barry a worn smile. A quick look-over of the room shows Iris sound asleep in bed, Jay sitting next to her and patting her gently on the shoulder before standing up and approaching Barry and Caitlin standing by the computers.

"How long has she been asleep?" Barry questions quietly, glancing over to Caitlin as Jay slings an arm around her shoulders and she leans back into the man comfortably.

"After she kicked Joe out, she dozed off. Only thirty minutes, I think?"

Barry nods once, crossing his arms as he looks back over to Iris and watches the steady rise and fall of her chest; watches her breathe. Her hair is swept sloppily away from her eyes, lips parting slightly each time she inhales, shoulders lax and fingers twitching every few seconds from whatever dreamland she's stuck in.

"She's lucky, Barry." Caitlin mumbles carefully, eyes flickering over to her friend to see if he has a response. Barry doesn't move, instead keeping his vision stuck on Iris. Jay notices the stare, notices the longing, and decides to intervene.

"Zoom could've done worse than a few scratches."

Saying the demon's name does the trick as Barry exhales shakily and turns to the couple unhurriedly. "We have to stop him. I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me."

"I tried everything on my earth," Jay starts slowly, "that's why we came here. To see if we could find something different. A key to the unbreakable lock."

Barry reaches a hand up and runs it through his already messy hair, sighing. "There has got to be a way."

Silence engulfs the small group. If only for a moment.

"If you got faster," Caitlin starts, "you could use Zoom's speed against him. It would just be the matter of if you could get fast enough."

Barry shakes his head, lips forming a straight line as he avoids answering the doctor's unsaid question with skill. "Thank you for keeping an eye on Iris. For patching her up." Caitlin sends a weary look to Jay who simply shrugs and starts to guide her to the hallway.

"Of course," she replies softly, gently squeezing Barry's shoulder as she passes by, "we're going to head out. Call me if anything changes, okay? I'll be back here first thing in the morning to check in on her."

Barry smiles at Caitlin, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Thanks, Cait."

He waits until they disappear down the hallway, until he can't hear the soft murmur of their voices, the thump of their shoes—before walking over to Iris' bedside and taking a seat.

With a gentle hand he fixes her hair so that it's correctly curled again, framing her cheeks. Then he takes one of her hands, rubbing his calloused thumb over the bridge of her knuckle. He brings her hand up to his lips, leaving a soft kiss there and letting out a discreet, watery laugh and isn't surprised when her eyes suddenly flutter open.

She's always had a knack at being able to tell when he needs her most.

"Hey," he mutters, "did I wake you?"

Iris shakes her head, eyes locking with his for a moment before looking at their intertwined hands. "No," she whispers, blinking a few times before glancing around the room. Barry knows she's looking for Joe and calms her worries with a hand carding through her hair, smiling softly at her.

"Joe went home. I guess your threat worked." Her lips fit into a small smile and Barry thinks she's the most beautiful person on the planet. "How are you feeling, Iris?" She shrugs, shoulders rolling slowly as Iris struggles with sitting herself up a little; Barry helping her with his speed and in seconds she's propped up contentedly against the new stack of pillows behind her.

"I'm okay. My wrists hurt a little bit and I have a headache, but nothing that sleep won't fix."

Barry looks alarmed by Iris admitting to any discomfort and instantly goes to stand up; to find something to help her. "I can get you some painkillers, something to help you just—"

"Barry." Iris stops him with by grabbing his hand, freezing him at her bedside. "I'm fine."

She watches him nod, watches as his face contorts into too many different emotions as he goes to return to the sore plastic chair pulled up next to her bed.

His eyes don't hold their usual brightness and they look like they've been drained of all emotion. His lips are tugged shut, not allowing any smiles or frowns to betray his look. The black bags underneath his eyes are darker than the color of her hair. His face itself is a pale shade from lack of nutrition, lack of sleep. His form looks skinnier than ever before, causing the nerdy 'pi is the best kind of desert' tee shirt to look big on him, causing the black sweats to look like they're swallowing his lower half.

Barry, sadly, looks like a shadow of himself—an empty shell.

"Bear?" Barry stops moving, lifting his head to look at Iris. "Lay with me?"

The request is innocent and so simple it catches him off guard for a moment, and it takes a full ten seconds for the words to click in his brain before he nods shortly and joins Iris in bed. He's careful not to jostle her battered body as he lays next to her on top of the blanket, reaching over and tossing an arm around her shoulders as she moves close to him and rests her head on his upper chest—grateful for the warmth emitting from him, because the draft wafting around the large room was chilling her to the bone.

Barry exhales slowly once they get into a cozy position, reminded of a time when they were both nineteen and they had done the same thing.

Her boyfriend at the time had broken things off with her earlier that day, with the claim that he was 'sick of her' and Iris had tried to brush it off like she wasn't hurt but Barry had known better. So later that night, after Joe had gone to bed, he had snuck into her room and found her crying—hushed little sniffles she tried desperately to hide—and he asked if she was okay. She had shook her head and was only able to get out three little words.

 _Lay with me?_

"Barry." The memory fades when Iris' voice breaks through his thought process, the former humming in reply. "Something is bothering you." She doesn't say it as a question, it comes out firm and determined for an answer. He wants to laugh, because her voice is so _knowing_ and he can't hide it from her.

He can't hide anything from her.

He's wondered for the longest damn time how he was even able to keep being the Flash from her, because attempting to lie to Iris is unnatural and bitter on his tongue. A part of him thinks he was only able to keep it secret because her life was on the other end of the line—if she knew he was the Flash, she would be in danger—and _that_ , Barry thinks, is the only thing that kept things from unraveling even earlier than they did.

"I'm so sorry, Iris. I'm sorry for letting him take you." His low voice is nearly lost among the sounds swarming around the room; between the rasp of the heater struggling to kick in, the whine by the computers, and their intermixed steady breathing.

Iris shakes her head slightly against his chest, reaching a hand up to rest next to her head. Her fingers grasp lightly at the material of his shirt and he feels a small tremor shift through her body, goosebumps prickling up her arms at the mention of Zoom.

Barry pulls her closer before he continues, shushing her gently as another shake ripples through her body. He honestly doesn't know if it's from the icy temperature of the room or from the recollections surely flying through her mind.

"I'm sorry," he continues in a coarse voice, "for not saving you sooner. I'm sorry for not being fast enough. I'm sorry for not protecting you. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment and I'm sorry for allowing him to _touch_ you a-and, and I-I- _I'm_ —"

Barry's voice catches before he can finish, breath hitching and chest stuttering as he jams his eyes shut and bites his lower lip hard enough to draw blood because he can _feel_ his lip trembling and he can _feel_ the tears threatening to break from the back of eyes and he can _feel_ his throat closing up and he can _feel_ the weight of the world weighing down on his shoulder and he can _feel_ the warmth of Iris right next to him and how much she much hates him and it's suffocating because he _can't_ have Iris hate him, no, _no_ she can't hate him because if she hates him then he'll be _alone_ and he doesn't _want_ to be alone anymore—

Iris calms him by rubbing the material of his shirt between her fingers, not commenting on the hitch in his breathing that's so easy to hear.

Instead she reaches down after minute, when her fingers are numb from the static of his shirt, and grabs his hand. She runs her hand over his knuckles, tracing the veins that outline his wrist and forearm, squeezing the intrepid muscle on his arm before returning to his hand and caressing his calloused fingers; staring thoughtfully at the different stamps of fingerprints he's been blessed with.

There's so many swirls and patterns knitting within his fingertips, and Iris swears she can even see a lightning bolt smitten in his thumb. Once she feels him still enough from her tender motions, once his chest is rising and falling in sturdy inhales and exhales again, she sighs quietly before speaking.

"You found me as fast as you could, Barry. Stop beating yourself up, listen," and she keeps her voice stern because if she breaks out into tears he will too so instead she turns her head so that she can look at his face but that nearly breaks her quicker; "listen to me Barry. You did all you could do and you saved me. You saved me, Barry. I'm right here and I'm okay and you're okay too."

He's looking at her with an expression that mirrors his conflicted emotions twirling around inside of him, eyes still glossy. There's barely noticeable stubble starting to shadow his chin and there's a freckle (that, surprisingly, she's never seen before) just off the bottom of his chin. His skin and the neon light of the room create a cream color that gives him a yellowish hue and his eyes are so stunning and he's looking at her with that _look_ he gets, like she's the only thing in the world—the only thing before him that he cares about, and her heart soars more than it should.

They hadn't even discussed the kiss, haven't discussed about Patty and their future—if it was just a spur of the moment type of thing.

Iris knew it was more than that for her. She loved him, and she had loved Eddie too, but it was time to move past that. She needed him to understand how much she loved him, how much she needed him.

So with a mental memo of 'screw it', she lifts a hand upwards and places it on the back of his neck, gently pulling his head down so that his lips can meet hers. It's electric between them, as it always is whenever they're close to each other, and there's heat hammering through their stomachs and buzzing throughout their bodies.

Barry kisses back with the same equal amount of passion that Iris is pouring into the kiss, because she wants him to _know_ that he's _not_ alone and that _she loves him_ more than she should, that she wants this to happen (because a part of her has no idea where she would be right now without him).

It feels like it's been too short of a kiss when they pull back from each other, Barry looking as certain as Iris feels. With a slow, an _agonizingly_ dawdling hand that _teases_ her as it approaches her face, hand he cups her cheek.

Caresses the soft skin there.

"I promise," he mumbles, leaning down and leaving an affectionate kiss on her forehead, "that I'll always protect you. I won't let you get hurt and Zoom sure as _hell_ won't ever come near you again. I promise, Iris. I promise." The powerful tone in his voice sends shivers down her spine but the sincere voice that is her Barry behind it reassures her, washes away her fears of blue lightning forcing the air out of her lungs.

Iris is almost at a loss for words, unsure of how to answer.

But he seems to instantaneously recognize the look on her face and just smiles at her; wiping away the stray tear that slipped out of her right eye. She knows he was no idea how much relief his words bring her. "Thank you," she finally whispers after a few tense moments and he chuckles as she returns to her position of resting on top of his chest, exhaling heavily.

They lay in contentment for a long while, until Iris' head is pounding with the thoughts she's trying to suppress. Within minutes, it's unintentionally blurting from her mouth instead of the safe boundaries of her mind.

"Why did you kiss me? Back when you found me?"

The arm he has slung around her tightens slightly and Iris keeps her sight on the hand she's holding, fumbling with his fingers. She feels him let out a heavy breath, once that shakes his entire body, and waits patiently for him to speak.

Inwardly, Iris wonders if Barry's about to say that she's a mistake, that this is a mistake and then run back to Patty—Patty Spivot, the woman he's dating and who's sweet and who he's with—because maybe it's true what he said a while ago; true that he doesn't like her anymore.

They were partially stupid reflections, Iris knew, but she couldn't help but wonder if he had moved on. She believed she wasn't anything special anyway. Zoom had told her that. The words were still twisting around her mind at time when she couldn't sleep.

"I don't know why I did." As soon as he speaks, her heart falls (into a seemingly endless, dark pit) and her stomach rolls like she had one too many cookies. "All I know," Barry continues softly, clutching her hand tight with his own, "is that I couldn't image my life without you."

Iris' lips lift into a small smile at his ingenuous words and her heart feels like it's flying again.

"Are we really going to do this?" She questions in a meek voice, Barry chuckling gently before leaving a kiss on her forehead.

"Hell yes." He replies and Iris can't help but chuckle, as she turns to face him, his arms coming to wrap loosely around her lower torso. Their foreheads are inches apart as he looks lazily down at her, mouth fixed in a blissful grin.

"What about Patty?"

Barry sighs, running his hands up and down her sides adoringly, "I'll break up with her. I cheated on her and I just," he pauses, thinking of his next words carefully (because he does feel horrible about it); "I hope she doesn't hate me."

Iris nods sympathetically, reaching a hand up to run it through his messy hair. "No one could hate you Bear," she whispers, as he stares at her proudly. Silence passes between them, and she's just about to inquiry him about the 'heart-eyes' (as Linda and Cisco call it) he's giving her, until he breaks it before her.

"I love you. I've always loved you, Iris. Since," and he laughs, "since before I knew what love meant. I love you so damn much."

Iris giggles and leans forwards for a quick kiss, which he happily returns, before replying.

"I love you too Barry."

He holds her and whispers nothings into her ear until she falls asleep and he waits until he's sure she's asleep before drifting off too.

* * *

Barry wakes up with a quiet gasp a few hours later, because he swear he heard speed in his sleep—heard what could only be the sound of another speedster's heart beating close to his. Wiping the sweat off his forehead he glances down at Iris, who's still comfortably asleep on the pillow next to him, as he gently pulls his arm out from being snaked around her and sits up slowly.

His skin feels like it's crawling, like a billion bugs are swarming beneath his veins and the speed force is pulling painfully against his skin; trying to urge him to run.

It's an odd side-effect Barry had noticed when he had first dealt with the Reverse Flash, how the speed force would always grow painful whenever he was near, and Barry had asked Jay about the matter in private after having the same thing happen to him with Zoom.

Jay had told him that the speed force was connected and with that was the power to sense when others like him, with racing hearts and lean muscles, were near.

 _It's a blessing and a curse_ , Jay had muttered when they had approached Caitlin and Cisco in the Lab.

Deciding to listen to the speed force yelling at him, Barry stands up, changes into his suit, and then flashes outside, nearly tripping over himself when he comes face to face with Zoom already waiting for him.

He stops picking at his claws when he sees Barry zoom over out of the corner of his eye, chuckling lowly as the electric fizzles and sparks around him. Barry has his fists clenched at his sides, teeth gritted in anger and eyes dark with pure abhorrence. "What are you doing here?" He yells, sucking in a breath that seems to burn the inside of his lungs.

Zoom's mask turns into a wicked smile as his laughter grows for a minute before coming to an abrupt halt. "I came to ask how Miss West is doing, Flash." His tone is aimed in a mocking manner, and it causes Barry to shout out in untainted fury.

"You aren't ever going to touch her again," he growls, "or else I'll kill you."

Zoom shakes his head, zipping forwards so that he's standing only a few inches away from where Barry stands. "You'll kill me? The Green Arrow tried to kill me on my earth, and failed. What makes you so special, Flash?" Zoom speeds back to where he was standing before, cracking his neck as Barry stares daggers at the demon's head.

"All you want is attention. You can't stand not being in the spotlight. That's why you kill people, that's why you take away loved ones. You're afraid of being alone," and Barry can't believe what he's saying next, maybe it's the hero-side of him taking over, but it comes out anyway. "You don't have to be alone, Zoom. We can help you."

Jay had also told Barry that sometimes the speed was too much for people, that sometimes it could drive you to the bridge of literal insanity. That's what had to be wrong with Zoom, so warped by the subject of speed that it controlled him to get all of it that he could.

"You are wrong Flash. All I want is you dead."

With that, before Barry can even process the man's words fast enough, Zoom is shoving Barry against the wall by the throat—squeezing so tight Barry doesn't even know how he's still alive. "You will die, Barry Allen, and this city will have no hero. Miss West will have no friend. You will be no more."

Zoom laughs a final time before disappearing into the night, leaving Barry gasping for breath in the chilly outside air.

* * *

Barry's busy organizing papers in his lab the next day with his mind still in a whirlwind.

When Iris had asked what had happened after he had sped back inside, no longer trying to be quiet and holding a hand to his side, he had told her it was Zoom. They had stayed awake for the last three hours of the nighttime, holding each other tightly.

It was near two in the afternoon and Iris had wanted to see her father that morning so Barry had used his speed to give her a lift to Joe's house, and after she promised him she would be fine and have Joe take her back to Caitlin to be checked out, he had gave her a kiss and made his way to work. He was stressed beyond belief and the disorganized stacks of papers currently mocking him weren't helping.

Zoom knew his name.

That's how he knew so much, he must know things from Earth-2 that were different or the same (for all Barry knew).

But he _knew_ his _name_.

The demon knew him. That's why Zoom took Iris. Who was Zoom? Barry had been tossing the thought around the entire he had held Iris in his arms, the entire time he had been awake. Earth-2 had doppelgangers, and it was the same earth as the one they were in yet completely different.

For instance, on Earth-2 the Green Arrow was Oliver's father, who was supposed to be deceased, and Oliver was the one who had died. Jay was the Flash. Harrison Wells was alive and he had a daughter. But what about the rest of them? Were they all the same? Did Barry's mom survive on Earth-2 and his father the one to be stabbed?

The questions were endless and giving Barry one hell of a headache.

"Hey you."

Patty's sudden voice from behind him causes Barry to jump ten feet into the air, flipping around to face her with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, hey Patty."

She sent him a smile and noticed his standoffishness instantly, reaching out and resting a calming hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter?" Barry shrugs nervously, trying to brush it off. He knows he has to do it, but he doesn't want to do it. Patty's so sweet and she's pretty and _she's_ . . . she's _not_ Iris. He sighs, shaking his head and grabbing her hand gently as she gives him a worried look.

"Patty, we need to talk. I, um, you're really sweet and you are one of the greatest people I know. You're so brave and beautiful," his voice catches and there's a lump in his throat. He feels guilty, and insane, all at the same time. "But we . . . we need to break up." He watches her face, forced to watch the emotions that fly by. The final expression is one of heartbreak and Barry's own heart shatters.

"Why?"

"Because I—I . . . I kissed Iris and I'm so sorry because I didn't mean for any of this to happen and I feel so horrible—"

She cuts him off with a sharp nod, tugging her hand from his hold to wipe at her eyes.

"You love her, Barry."

He doesn't have the strength to say anything and runs a hand through his hair, feeling horrible. He loves Iris, and it was wrong to not tell Patty. It was wrong of him to be lying to her about his second life as the Flash too. A relationship couldn't work off of no trust.

"I'm so sorry Patty," he whispers, reaching forward to try and pull her into a hug but Patty takes a step back to avoid his touch completely. "Patty."

"It's alright Barry, I hope your happy, okay?" She sends him a smile that is barely a smile before walking out of the room just as Barry's phone rings.

He watches Patty's shadow until it disappears before turning around and reaching for his phone that's sitting on the desk behind him and answering. He's too distracted to even glance at the Caller ID. "Hello?"

"Barry, something's wrong with Iris." Joe's frantic voice is enough to shock Barry out of his past thoughts as he freezes.

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know, I left to go and get some bread for lunch and then I just got back and she . . . she won't let me near her. I think she's having a panic attack."


	4. remind me of you

~Author's Note~

Hey guys, thanks for sticking in there. Anyway, it's been a really crappy day so that might be why this chapter seems a bit dark. Onto more important things; this story was written after 2x09 and before I knew what was happening with the rest of the season so as of now (because I had a _very_ different idea of who Zoom was), this story is au- _ish_ after 2x09.

So everything up to 2x09 has happened and we're ignoring the episodes after that. Also, the ending may be a bit confusing but in the final chapter everything will be explained so it would mean a lot if you guys left some reviews. I swear they do motivate me to write faster (thank you for all of the kind reviews you guys left last chapter), plus it'll make this week easier to get through . . . alright. Enough with my rant. I hope you guys enjoy! :)

* * *

 _Streaks of Yellow_

* * *

The words file themselves in Barry's brain slowly, and he has half a mind to reach over and pinch himself in the arm. His Iris, in a panic attack? His Iris West—his brave, sweet, amazing, beautiful Iris—having a panic attack?

"Barry, you there?" Joe's apprehensive voice in Barry's ear is enough to shock him into movement as he looks around his lab and towards the door, making sure no one is near.

Then he clicks the end button on the phone and runs.

He nearly runs into three different officers carrying their afternoon coffees on his way out, and then narrowly avoiding a truck parked near the doors of CCPD. After that it's smooth sailing as he takes the fastest way home, feet coming to a screeching halt next to Joe in the living room of the house. Joe jumps in place at the blur of yellow appearing next to him, and he has to take a breath to steady himself before turning and sending an annoyed look to his surrogate son.

"Dammit Barry, don't do that without a warning first." Barry sends him a half smile that slips onto his face automatically but disappears just as fast once his eyes glance around the room and land on Iris huddled in the corner in front of him.

Joe lets out a breath once he knows Barry sees his daughter, and grabs his elbow just as Barry goes to walk over towards her. "Bear, don't," he mumbles, pulling him back, "she's not in her own mind." Barry shoves Joe's touch off him, but not unkindly, keeping his eyes on Iris.

"What happened? How did she get like this?" He whispers in question, millions of worries darting through his mind.

"She was fine when you dropped her off and we were talking about the news and avoiding any topic of Zoom," she flinches at the mention of the speedster's name and Barry sees it out of the corner of his eye, "and then we were going to make sandwiches for lunch. She said she was fine with me leaving so I did, and I was only gone for five, and when I came back she was on the couch. I tried to talk to her but when I walked over to her, she pushed me away and ended up in the corner."

Barry nods to show that he's listening, and Caitlin's words from the day before haunt his memories.

 _Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder might appear later on._

What did Zoom do, what did Iris have to go through, that would cause this to happen to her? What did that, that _thing_ , do to her? His eyes swept over her body, observing her carefully. She was curled into a ball, her knees brought up to her chin.

Her face is partly buried, but Barry can still see her eyes—locked in a never-ending stare at the empty space in front of her—there's a thin rim of sweat on her forehead and her breathing is shallow. Her hands are trembling in their place holding onto her knees, and her hair is frizzled; wild with her hurried movements of trying to get away as fast as she could.

"Joe," Barry murmurs, turning his head towards the older man, "could you give us a minute?" He shakes his head, about to protest but Barry cuts him off before he can. "Joe please. I'll take care of her, I promise."

Joe looks like he's about to disagree and Barry's already preparing another final plea, but then he speaks. "Bring my baby girl back, Bear." Barry sends his second father a reassuring smile, as Joe turns and heads upstairs after a final concerned look Iris' way.

Once Joe is out of the room, Barry works on trying to figure out the different ways he could fix this.

Option number one, call Caitlin immediately. Option number two, speed Caitlin over here because he's not focused enough to be able to dial an actual number that makes sense. Option number three, fix this himself and just approach Iris. After a few more calculated moments of thinking, Barry already has his answer figured it and it's not the wisest choice but he doesn't care.

He's stubborn—just like Iris—overall.

"Iris?" Her distracted eyes don't move from the spot she's staring at, but her pinky finger twitches in acknowledgement. Barry takes a tentative step forward, "Iris," he pauses, taking another step forward, "baby, talk to me. What's happening up there, Iris?" He doesn't know where the nickname comes from, but it's automatic when it leaves his lips—rehearsed, even though he's never said such a thing before.

But saying it feels right.

Her head moves slightly, in a movement that would resemble a shake of the head; a whisper of _no_. Barry exhales softly, and he's halfway to her by now— _he's almost there_ —but then she lets out a scared whimper when her head suddenly turns his direction and sees him getting closer to her. She tries to squeeze herself farther into the corner, tries to squeeze herself into non-existence to get farther away from him and Barry's heart nearly shatters into two.

He raises his hands in a surrender motion, freezing completely in place.

"Hey, hey, it's okay Iris. It's me. It's Barry, alright?"

Her mouth opens and then closes, like as if the words she was going to say were swallowed. Barry sends her a soothing smile as he moves closer, and shushes the hushed sob she tries to hide. "You gotta talk to me Iris, so that I can help. C'mon baby, talk to me."

It's starting to unnerve him, how different his Iris is acting, because it's not her. Zoom did something, or she witnessed something and it messed her up. In a way he can't fully fix. Iris shakes her head at his voice, fingers shaking and eyes closing.

Barry uses the movement to his advantage, closing the space between them and taking a gentle seat on the floor next to her. She winces when the fabric of his shirt touches her clothed hip, and he simply wraps an arm around her small frame, hoping to offer some type of comfort. "I'm right here Iris." He says after a silent minute, because he can see the glassy hue to her eyes, the glossy shade there.

He counts the seconds in his head.

It takes twenty-nine exactly before Iris falls into his lap in a burst of tears.

Barry's arms wrap around her in one simple stride as her head nestles in the space between his chest and shoulder, her tears soaking through his thin tee-shirt. They're a mangle of limbs for the longest time, time Barry tries to keep track of, and it's a while before Iris' is able to breathe steadily again—through breaths that aren't hitching and ragged.

Barry runs his fingers through her hair, the motion comforting Iris more than he knows.

"Barry," she whispers, warm breath fanning over the skin of his arms, and her voice is wavering and constricted—like a pulled back string of a bow. Barry readjusts them, tugging Iris closer to him, so that she's sitting in his lap and faced towards him. His hand reaches up and strokes her left cheek, wiping away some left-over stray tears.

"You're alright baby, just take some deep breaths and then talk to me. Take your time. I'm not gonna leave you, alright? I'll be right here."

Iris nods, staring into his eyes and letting out a long breath. He smiles his encouragement, keeping one hand cupping her cheek as she does so. "H-He was h-here, Bear. When Dad was gone." Barry's eyebrows scrunch in puzzlement, lips tunneling into a soft frown.

"Who was here, Iris?"

Her eyes are full of panic as she says it, like as if she's worried he'll come back and stab Barry in the back when the latter isn't paying attention. "Zoom." His heart pounds, and the speed force seems to be mocking him from within—echoing laughter and blue lighting and _not being fast enough to save Iris_ —

"He had a message, Barry," she murmurs, cutting off Barry's train of thought as his hand lowered from her cheek to grab her hand.

"Iris," he replies, a billion apologies ready to slip off his tongue, but she shakes her head to stop him.

"He said to tell you that you're running out of time. That by midnight tonight, if you don't face him, he'll do things his way."

Barry's head is thundering when the facts funnel into his brain and fear is grabbing him around the throat, slowly suffocating him like that time he risked his life to give Caitlin a sample of the Mist. It was like that, but worse. Because this pain was coming from deep within. Zoom was done waiting. He wanted this to end and he wanted it to end now, with the Flash gone.

He was getting impatient.

Zoom was the dark side of the speed force come to life, a man driven mad by the need for _speed_. All he wanted was more and more of it, it wasn't enough to have what he was blessed with—he _wanted_ more.

"Iris I—"

"Barry!" Joe barrels down the stairs taking two at a time, cellphone clutched tightly in one hand and pressed to his ear while the other barely holds onto the railing on the way down. He approaches the two as quickly as he can, and even Iris lifts her head up to look at him. Barry can hear the deep murmur of whoever's on the other end of the line (most likely Singh) saying something and then the hallow click afterwards to signal that the call has ended.

Joe stuffs the phone back into his jeans pocket as he hurries around the room; grabbing his belt, badge, hostler and loading his pistol with a new magazine in the kitchen as Barry helps Iris stand with a gentle hand.

She leans on him for support once they are both in a standing position and Barry has one arm snaked around her waist to help her as they perplexedly watch Joe's frantic actions from the living room.

"Dad," Iris calls, "what's going on?"

A click booms from the kitchen as Joe cocks his sidearm, jabbing it in the hostler that's now snug on his belt around his waist. He barely looks up when he grabs his badge off the table and hooks it next to the holster, and Barry doesn't like how fearful he's acting.

"That was Singh. CCPD was just attacked by Zoom. Twenty cops murdered and he left a message in blood on the wall for you Barry."

The speedster's heart plummets, "What kind of message?"

Joe pulls out his phone again, clicking a few buttons before passing it over to Barry. It's a picture of the wall behind Joe's cluttered desk, and there's bodies slaughtered on the floor beneath it. The image causes his stomach to run and Iris' head to pound but neither say anything as they slowly read the message scattered in blood across the screen.

 **THE CLOCK IS TICKING, FLASH.** _ **RUN**_ **.**

"Singh has ordered all remaining officers to patrol the streets for Zoom," Joe chances a look at Barry, shaking his head once he sees the determined glint in his son's eyes, "and dammit Barry _no_. You aren't going after him. _You_ ," and he points, "are going to stay here and keep my daughter safe."

"Zoom is here and just murdered innocent people to get to me. I have to go and face him before he harms anyone else!" Joe takes a step forward and his lips are tugged in a firm line to show that he's not backing down. He's not going to lose his son, or his daughter for that matter, if it's the last damn thing he does.

"I'm sorry it's come to this Bear," and his voice raises to a gritty shout, "but you _are not fast enough_ to defeat Zoom! I am not going to allow you to give away your _life_ , I am not going to stand by and watch him _torture you_ and _destroy you_ bit by bit, because you carry the world's weight on your shoulders!" The two men stare each other down, and Iris grasps Barry's shirt tightly because she's afraid he's going to run and she won't be able to stop him. "I will _not_ lose my son to a monster like Zoom."

Barry shakes his head, softly grabbing Iris' hand and lowering it away from his shirt before looking back to Joe with a steadfast barricade of strongminded emotions fitting across his face. "You stay here with Iris so that I know both of you are safe. I'm sorry Joe, but Central City needs the Flash right now."

With those final words, Barry runs.

Joe yells (and inside his mind he's screaming for Barry—"Get your damn ass _back_ here right now son!"—but it stays inside his mind) for him, but it goes ignored as Barry disappears in a flash of yellow.

Both Wests are left staring at the spot where Barry used to be, and Joe's the one to break the deafening silence by walking into the living room and grabbing a black briefcase from behind the television stand. He walks back over to the kitchen table, popping the case open to reveal a sleek fully-loaded custom Glock 22 with a silencer at the end of the barrel, seizing it carefully before walking back over to where Iris is standing and placing it in one of her hands.

"Dad what are you—"

"I'm going after Barry, and you are going to stay right here and keep that gun pointed at the door until I come back." Iris tries to protest, tries to fight against this absolutely _stupid_ plan of his.

"You can't go. I can't lose both of you."

But Joe simply leans forward and leaves a fatherly kiss on her forehead, before heading towards the front door. "You aren't going to lose either of us, baby girl, and I'm going to make sure of that."

Iris is left alone in a matter of seconds after that and the pistol shakes in her fingers as she takes a seat on the couch and aims it towards the door. She prays for them to come back. She prays that she doesn't lose the love of her life or the man that's always kept her grounded.

A memory strikes her, one from when Barry and she were both in middle school and skipping out on gym class by hanging out under the football bleachers outside (and it had taken a lot of convincing and promising from Iris that Joe wouldn't find out and that Barry wouldn't get caught before he had agreed). Their conversation was mostly about Joe's surprisingly amazing cheesesteaks yet horrid blueberry muffins, their favorite character from Full House, their favorite singer and what they rather do (kiss a toad or kiss their school crushes) before it had taken a more serious turn.

 _Hey, Barry,_ she had asked, fingers fumbling over one another, _you aren't going to leave me someday, are you?_ Iris can still remember Barry's nervous smile, how it had gone from muddled at first to placid understanding. She also remembers his retort clear as day.

 _I don't think I ever could, Iris._

* * *

Barry's flying through Central City at speeds that he knows are pushing his boundaries.

His legs are throbbing already, skin blistering underneath his suit. His feet feel like they are on fire, and there's a distant pounding in the depths of his mind. The thought of Caitlin flipping out at him for pushing himself so hard evades his brain but he brushes it off, because he doesn't care about his own health right now.

He cares about finding Zoom, and putting a stop to this game of charades they've been in since he's broken his back. The one thing that wasn't clicking for Barry, however, was if Zoom was playing by the rules or not.

First, he shows up at Iris' house without harming her—simply leaving a message that Barry had until midnight to face him or else all hell would break lose. But then, not even two hours later, half of the precinct was left slaughtered in a sloppy warning for Barry; one that spoke volumes.

One that showed Zoom wasn't to be messed around with.

Neither action made sense to Barry, nor the why, and he fought with the two auguring sides of his intellect the entire way to the CCPD. It was a place to start, after all. He zips through the front doors at lightning speed, squealing to a stop just before a pale, bloody hand from one of the deceased detectives ends up under one of his boots. There's a heavy hum of chatter around him but it falls on deaf ears as Barry takes a look around, breath catching in his throat as his gut stirs uneasily.

It's worse than the picture Singh had sent Joe, and the actual image of everything is terrifying.

Crimson litters the polished floor like spilled confetti, spattered up the weathered walls like a glass of spilled water. Various stretchers are laid across the floor where the blood isn't too much, as paramedics and distraught police offers mull around the room. Inside Barry's head, he can hear the screams, visualize the scene frolicking out before him like a rewinded video.

 _Please,_ the balding officer now a heap of limbs on the floor to the left of him cried, _I-I don't know where the Flash is!_ Choking, the younger rookie on the right would gasp for breath as Zoom vilely took the life out of him— _The Flash doesn't ever stay on a crime scene, he leaves before anyone can get a close look at his face!_ A middle-aged man not much older than Joe, dead on the floor in front of Barry with a final crooked smile lax across his face would say no more than the words, _Go to hell._ Each possible scenario plays out in Barry's brain painfully and the outcomes are all the same.

Dead. Dead. Dead, dead, dead. _Dead_.

The bile starts to crawl up Barry's throat like a zombie from the grave, reaching and reaching—"Allen!"

His attention is drawn away by his name being called and Barry quickly vibrates his face before turning around to where Singh is standing just behind him; looking as anxious as ever. "Allen!" He calls again, looking all around the room, one hand nervously holding onto his holstered pistol, "Dammit, where in the hell is that kid?"

Barry gulps inaudibly, and the smell of blood is sickening now. Singh stops a nearby officer with a hand on the younger man's shoulder, questioning him about the whereabouts of Barry. "Have you seen Allen?"

The novice shakes his head and hurries off, and Barry can't take it anymore.

"He's fine." The harsh, disoriented sound of Barry's vibrating vocal chords echo throughout the office, and it's enough to cause Captain Singh to snap his head over in the Flash's general direction.

"What'd you say?" He requests, but Barry doesn't miss how he looks more relived at hearing that Barry's okay.

"CSI Allen, he escaped. I saw him on my way over. He's okay."

Singh lets out a sigh and nods stiffly, letting out the baited breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Good," he rasps, "the kid tends to get in over his head sometimes." With a final nod the Flash's way, he says one last thing before turning away. "Go and catch that Zoom bastard, Flash, and save our city."

Barry has to hold back a smile at Singh's words (and who knew the captain had a soft spot for him after all this time?) before quietly turning back around to the gory mess of bodies and despair. His thoughts are running at a mile a minute.

Zoom killing . . . a warning . . . midnight— _speed_ —hate, spotlight . . . _speed_.

The answer strikes Barry in a matter of seconds as he takes off running, heading towards the nearest breach he can find. Which happens to be the one in the basement of S.T.A.R Labs. He comes to a stop in-front of the whooshing portal, and it takes less than a second for Zoom to appear behind him with a wicked smirk.

"Hello _Barry_ ," he drawls, letting out a disturbing laugh that causes ripples of goosebumps to form over Barry's arms, "come to meet your fate?" Barry cracks his knuckles slowly, and his cowl feels heavy over his head. The blue electric falling off of Zoom in bucket loads makes loud sizzling sounds as they touch the cement floor.

"The reason you're like this, the reason you kill," Barry starts cautiously, carefully choosing each word, "is because you lost the war against the speed force, didn't you Zoom? It took control over you, and you . . . you'll _die_ without more speed because it's draining away your life. The thing that keeps you alive is slowly killing you, isn't it?"

Zoom lets out a guttural growl that seems to be shredding his throat as it comes out, and his claws twitch with anticipation as he stands up straighter. "Well done, Flash. You've _finally_ figured me out." He counters (and Barry even thinks there's a slight hint of sarcasm to his words) before shaking his masked head. "You think you know me now, do you?"

Barry exhales, "No. I don't. I think if you would just let me, I could help you. I could save you. The speed force is—"

"The speed force is keeping me alive!" Zoom interrupts, eyes darkening as his teeth grind together, "Without it I would be—"

"Normal." Barry offers quietly, words of Earth-2 Jay and Harry swirling around his mind, "You would be normal. Wells said he created you, Zoom. What did he do to change you?"

Zoom stares at Barry thoughtfully for a minute, and then in the blink of an eye he's nearly nose to nose with Barry and the latter's breath catches in his throat. One of Zoom's claws reaches up and scrapes against the bare skin of his right cheek, leaving a sticky line of blood in it's wake.

"You bleed." He mutters so calmly Barry thinks Zoom has flipped a switch and turned into a normal person again. Barry lets out a shuttering breath that rattles his bones, as Zoom's claw slips off his cheek and he stares at the blood resting there. "I don't."

Then, without warning, Zoom slams Barry backwards by the neck—all air clogging in his windpipe as Barry chokes on his next breath. Zoom's claws dig into the front of Barry's suit as the latter struggles to breathe, the speed force flailing wildly under his skin. He _needs_ to run, he needs to run and get out of there. Run.

 _Run_.

"Z-Zoom," Barry wheezes, grasping his hands with his own, but Zoom ignores him, dark eyes locking with his.

"You breathe, I don't." He squeezes harder against Barry's neck, and then moves his hand so that it's now gripping the shoulder of his suit. "You feel, I don't."

Barry barely has time to process the movements but the next thing he knows is that Zoom is dragging him through the streets of Central City again like a rag-doll—like he's nothing, like he's done nothing to help the city. The speedster feels the air leave his lungs as Zoom drags him around and around, through so many back-roads and so many alleyways that Barry loses track of where they are after a while. Barry squeezes his eyes shut and waits for the atrocious moment to pass.

Until, everything freezes.

He opens one eye when a shot rings out, and the next thing he feels is pure pain. Zooms throws Barry into the far wall with a burst of speed and a laugh, before speeding towards Iris and picking the gun from her fingers; tossing it across the room.

Barry lets out a hiss of agony when he attempts to gently stand up—the world tilts and wobbles for a few moments before his eyes can focus on Zoom and Iris before him. Zoom has her in a headlock, ready to snap her neck at any moment, and his claws are dangerously close to her eyes.

"You love," Zoom rasps, reaching a hand up and pulling back his mask, "I don't."

The person that gazes back at Barry causes his heart to drop down to his knees, as Iris lets out a whimper from being so close to Zoom; so close to a monster. Barry can hardly form the words he wants to say as he stares at the Earth-2 speedster. "What turned you into this?" He whispers, breathless, and Zoom just lets out a chortle; lips fitting into a mocking smirk.

"The death of Iris West-Allen."


	5. numb me down

~Author's Note~

Hey guys! Thank you all for the tremendous amount of support with the last chapter. Honestly all of the reviews did make me figure out how to do this faster so thank you for all of the kind words. My issue was that it took me forever to figure out how to order this final chapter and I debated three different endings (one of which would've left things on a cliffhanger) before deciding on this one.

Oh and just a little fun fact to answer some of you guys' reactions about Zoom—I actually got the idea for Zoom being an dark!barry from Grant in one of his interviews where he had said he would have loved to play an evil version of himself (and I would have loved that too) so I made it a reality with this story.

One last thing before you guys get to reading, I'm thinking of doing a quick little one-shot looking more into Zoom as a companion story to this, so keep an eye for that and I've got some more one-shots and future muti-chapters up my sleeve as well so stay tuned.

Anyway, for the final time for this story, thank you all so much and I really hope everyone enjoys! :D

* * *

 _Streaks of White_

* * *

x  
day one  
x

* * *

It had happened too fast.

"Want me to walk you home?" Wally had offered, hands stuffed causally in his jean pockets, rocking back and forth nervously on the balls of his feet. She had denied, shaking her head and promising she would be careful and that her dad wouldn't kill him before pulling him in for a quick hug.

His entire body had stiffened, instinct jolting him backwards a little before he hugged back just as tight. With a clipped goodnight from Wally (apparently the sisterly hug was something he wasn't quite ready for just yet) they had gone their separate ways; Iris falling into step with the bitter air whipping across her cheeks as she made her way home.

Pulling out her phone, she typed out a cheeky reply to Barry—who had been fretting about her going out to dinner with Wally the entire day.

 _No need to worry anymore, Flash. Wally and I have officially parted ways._

Iris could understand Barry's fear, with Zoom and whatever other new meta-humans awaited them in the shadows, but she could handle herself. She knew how to fire a gun, how to spray pepper-spray, how to hit someone upside the head with her purse. A girl's gotta be her own hero every now and again, right?

Her phone buzzes in her hand again as she looks down and smiles at the screen, sliding her finger across to read Barry's comeback.

 _Just be careful getting home. I'll be there before one at the latest, West._

A winky face trails after his words, and Iris can't help but chuckle. Flirting was starting to become another layer to their relationship (could she say again?) too. Not that she minded.

She was almost home, just two more turns and then she would be able to see the front door, but then everything changed.

It had happened too fast.

One second everything around her was mute besides the distant sounds of car engines revving and the wind roaring, and the next everything was too loud. Something that sounded like thunder came out of nowhere, crackling loudly in her ears before speeding past her and freezing in front of her.

Cobalt lightning danced gracefully around Zoom like two opposites forced together—peace and hell fighting for dominance, neither able to get full control—and a bolt of lightning snapped from somewhere far off in the dark sky. Iris was rendered silent at the sight of Zoom so . . . _close_ to her.

He really was the definition of death; from his posture to his claws.

She looked away from him for a split second to dig around in her purse for the handgun her father had bestowed on her so many months ago, but she wasn't fast enough. A guttural sound came out from his throat as he flashed in front of her, grabbing her purse by the strap and ripping it out of her hands before throwing it halfway down the sidewalk.

"Iris," he growls, but it's not exactly a growl.

It's soft—strangely soft like he's afraid he's going to hurt her just by talking to her in the wrong tone—as one of his hands raises to cup her right cheek. Iris flinches back and it seems to startle Zoom out of whatever reprieve he's in as he pulls his hand back like as if it's on fire.

Then he pulls something out of his suit (a secret compartment in the wrist of his suit—which Iris files away as something she needs to tell Cisco to add to Barry's suit) before stuffing a cloth in her face. She tries to fight it but it's useless as the world starts to go black around her.

The last thing she sees is Zoom's face as he gently picks her up and says something that doesn't make any sense to her before the world around her fades away.

"I finally found you."

* * *

x  
day five  
x

* * *

It's nothing different each time she wakes up from the scarce amount of sleep she is able to gather.

She's still in the empty room Zoom had dropped her off in four days before, she's still alone and she's still trapped. Iris doesn't know where she is, she was still knocked out when he had brought her here, and all she does know is that the room is too blunt for her taste.

The walls are painted a pale blue, chipped pieces of paint falling from the weathered material and spider webs clogging the high corners. A spare fly buzzes across the room here and there, heading towards the hanging light in the middle of the room that is sure to kill it like all the others, without even knowing. There's one way in and no windows, with a twin-sized bed pushed in the back corner and a toilet and sink in the other.

The room is also lonely. Very lonely.

Zoom's popped in twice in the past four days, and today is about to be marked a fifth until she hears a small clatter come from the door, before he phases through the ratty old thing. She bolts upwards in bed, standing up to face the monster fully.

He gazes at her for what seems like the longest time before finally speaking.

"My Iris," he whispers, using his speed so that he's standing barely a meter away from her, "I feel like I've waited a thousand lifetimes for this." One claw reaches forwards and strokes her cheek in what would be a loving touch if he wasn't Zoom, if he wasn't this crazed monster killing and killing and _killing_ for something he wasn't able to find—for something besides speed, besides the speed force.

Iris musters up the best glare she can, because she isn't _his_ —if anything she's Barry's—because he has no right over her to say such a thing. He's nothing to her, and she should be nothing to him. Besides, she has no idea of what is under that scaly mask.

Is it a forty year old man, blessed with something they didn't deserve? Is it another speedster like Eobard Thawne, out for revenge for something she does in the future? The only other explanation she could come up with was if it was Eddie's doppelganger; something absurd enough to be true with all of the talk about doppelgangers and opposite earths and multiverses, _or whatever_ , lately.

The claw moves slowly down her cheek like a caress, but Iris feels disgusted.

This is the man, the monster, who had broken Barry's back. This was the man who had nearly broken her best friend to no-repair. So with a burst of sudden antipathy, she lifts one of her hands and shoves Zoom's away, staring him down.

"Don't touch me."

Zoom looks taken aback for a second, and it's a look she almost misses, before he turns and bolts out of the room. Iris lets out a breath she didn't even know she was holding, before turning away from the now closed door of the room and facing the bland wall standing behind her.

She presses both palms of her hands to her eyes, letting out a long sigh.

"Where are you Barry?" She murmurs quietly to no one in peculiar, moving her hands back and running them through her frizzy hair. "I miss you," she continues, unaware that the door's open again and Zoom's standing in the doorway listening in, "I've been here for five days now and each one's been hell. And I'm waiting for you, Bear, I know it's stupid but I'm waiting for you to come and save me. So where the hell are you?"

"Right here."

It's a voice she doesn't recognize, as she whips around and sees Zoom staring at her, and it takes her a second for the thought to click that it was his voice. Zoom's actual voice and nothing else. It sounded oddly familiar, so familiar that the word slips off her tongue before she can stop it.

"Barry?"

Zoom recoils like he's been hit by a car, staggering a step backwards as Iris tilts her head in confusion.

 _Doppelganger . . . Barry?_

It takes Zoom a moment to gather his bearings again, and he utters a few words in reply. "On every earth, you still know it's me. Iris," then he pauses, shaking his head as if to get himself back on track, "I'm sorry for having to do this. But it's to keep you safe. To teach the Flash a lesson."

Millions of questions barrel their way to the tip of Iris' tongue but she isn't able to get any of them out because Zoom advances towards her and tugs rope around her wrists and cloth in her mouth. He sends her one last look before zipping out of the room and leaving her alone once again.

* * *

x  
day six  
x

* * *

He doesn't come back in for an entire day.

When he comes back into the room Iris is laying back in the bed, stiff from the rope blinding her arms and cloth seemingly making it harder to breathe. He drops a bag of Big Belly Burger at her feet, the paper crinkling as it bounces with the movements, before sinking down with the mattress.

Iris' stomach grunts in happiness at the sight of the fast food bag, grumbling for the greasy french fries and double hamburger surely to be waiting inside. He then moves to her side, reaching out to undo the rope and wrench out the cloth from her mouth. He drops it on the bed next to her carelessly, before gesturing towards the food when she doesn't instantaneously move towards it.

Iris averts her gaze from his face, _his mask_ , instead finding an interest in picking at her pants.

"Eat."

It's a simple word, sharp and demanding even. She shakes her head in response, holding in a sarcastic laugh. "I'm a reporter, _Zoom_ ," she mumbles dryly, "I've seen a lot of things, a lot of murders. And I really don't feel like dying from poison or drug overdose today."

Zoom scoffs, "Death is a mercy. Something you don't deserve all these times."

The words roll in the air for a while as Iris tries to figure them out, and it isn't until Zoom slowly starts to walk towards the door that she finds her voice again. "Wait." He stops. She doesn't know why. "What did you mean by how you wanted to teach the Flash a lesson?"

Zoom doesn't even bother to look over his shoulder when he retorts, body taut as a rubber band. "I needed to teach him what it's like to lose you."

Iris' stomach screams. "Why?"

The letters barley have time to finish leaving her mouth and by that time he's gone again.

When Iris can't take the hunger gnawing at her insides any longer she swiftly readjusts herself so that she's sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed. With shaky hands from not eating in a while (as the trays of gray muck he's been bring her for the past few days just to keep her alive weren't too great of meals in the first place) Iris opens up the bag and greedily grabs a handful of fries to stuff in her mouth.

A sigh of contentment sneaks out of her mouth, because Big Belly Burger's overcooked and fatty french fries have never tasted so good before, before moving onto pulling out the rest of the continents in the bag and spreading them out in front of her.

Holding onto the hope that what Zoom said was true and that he wasn't poisoning her, she unwrapped the burger and was about to take a big bite before stopping dead in her tracks.

It's with an uneasy feeling in her chest that she realizes it's her special order from Big Belly Burger that she's used for ten years.

And one that only Barry would know.

* * *

x  
day eleven  
x

* * *

Iris' mind drifts to her dad's smiling face on the eleventh day, when the rain pounding outside starts to cause her head to hurt. She thinks of his job, wonders if he's doing okay, if he's being safe (probably not, because she got her own stubbornness from him) and if he and Barry are keeping each other grounded.

Then her mind floats over to the subject of Barry.

Iris thinks of _his_ smile, his stunning eyes, his laugh; his everything. She thinks of him and feels safe, feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders and thrown to the wolves. Thunder ripples, roaring throughout the room like a train is coming for her. She exhales when the silence engulfs her once again, the minutes passing slowly before she hears what sounds like a crack of lightning.

 _Barry._

Her mind tries to reason with her.

Telling her she's stupid, that it's just the rainstorm. But she has hope and if she loses that hope, she doesn't make it. She counts the seconds, like how Joe taught her when she was little, the method on how to measure how far away a storm was. She decides to use it now to see how far away Barry is. How far away he _has_ to be.

"One."

 _Dad._

"Two."

 _Barry._

"Three."

 _The Flash._

"Four."

 _Wally._

"Five."

But instead of Barry bursting through the door, thunder rumbles softly. Tears threaten to come.

She tries to calm herself of thinking about when she was younger; how she used to count the seconds. When she was little, her four words were less. Dad, Mom, Barry, Brownies and Essays. The musings don't help. A tear slips out anyway as she curls into a ball and silently sobs.

* * *

x  
day thirteen  
x

* * *

Zoom brings her breakfast early.

He startles her when he walks in, carrying a tray with eggs and brownies. Her stomach complains but she stays put as he drops the tray carefully on the bed next to her. Iris looks up at home, her lips quirked into a frown. "Are you going to let me go?"

Zoom looks at her, hands quivering slightly from where they rest at his sides. She wonders why.

"Soon." He replies quietly, turning away.

Iris doesn't want him to leave just yet, _she wants answers_ , so she prods. "Why did you kidnap me, Zoom? I don't understand." The silence isn't just silence as she waits for a reaction. Birds chirp from outside, muffled by the walls.

"To teach the Flash a lesson."

"Yeah, you already told me that. I want to know _why_." Iris can't help herself as the reporter inside of her bares it's teeth; _demanding_ solutions. Something isn't right about this entire situation so she just wants to _know_.

"Why?" He turns towards her violently, towering over her. "Because you are too fucking easy to lose on earth. On _any_ earth." He's breathing heavily and she's confused. Then Zoom runs.

* * *

x  
day fourteen  
x

* * *

"Wake up. We're leaving." Zoom picks her up roughly, Iris' eyes shooting open as she starts to struggle in his hold.

"Let go of me!"

"I can't." Zoom throws her over one shoulder, and Iris pounds on his back. "It's time for you to go home." His words suspend her movements as she freezes, fists unclenching.

"Home?" She mumbles, Zoom tightening his grip as he prepares to run.

"Home," he repeats, but it's not sincere.

Iris notices the tone instantly, questioning him on it. "You aren't done yet, are you?"

She thinks she hears him sniffle. "Never."

* * *

The memory of her capture fades as she's brought back to the present. But now things are connecting in her brain, _it all clicks_ , but there are still cracks showing—pieces missing. The words that Zoom had spoken hang stale in the air for what seems like the longest time, until the dark speedster breaks it with a shake of his head.

"If I can't have her, then no one can." He goes to move, goes to phase his hands through her neck—or to fucking _snap it_ , he doesn't know which but he just wants it _done_ , wants the pain to be fucking gone _(but it'll never be gone)_ —but Barry stops him by calling him by a name Zoom hasn't been called in years.

"Barry. Stop."

Earth-2 Barry Allen's entire body slacks at the words. His hold lessens enough that Iris is able to pull herself from his grip, shoving him backwards by the elbow before running over to her Barry. She places a hand on his bicep, helping him stand, fretting over him as Other-Barry watches with longing eyes, lax, from across the room.

"I'm so sorry. I meant to shoot him but I missed a-and—are you okay?" Barry brushes her off, waving a hand as he fights with standing up straight.

"I-I'm fine, Iris, it was a clean shot through my shoulder. I'll be okay." He's lying though, because his entire body is on fire and there's so much blood smearing his suit that he doesn't know if he'll bleed to death or not but he doesn't want to scare her. So he gathers what strength he does have and fights. Then he looks to his doppelganger. "What happened to you, Barry? Why . . . why are you this? Why are you Zoom?"

Other-Barry looks at him for a long while, before seemingly giving in.

Black lightning races between his eyes.

"I was struck by lightning. Just like you. Same age, same way. And I was a hero too," he starts slowly, smirking, before shaking his head, "learning how to use my powers, saving damsels in distress. But then I meant her, and my whole life changed."

His eyes flicker over to where Iris is standing and she unintentionally grasps Barry's arm tighter from his heavy stare. "You're talking about Iris, your Iris, right? Earth-2 Iris West?" Barry clarifies, Other-Barry letting out a chilling laugh.

"My Iris," he repeats, before continuing, "one day I saved a woman who was in a burning building—Picture News—and her eyes were so stunning I didn't want to ever leave her. After that, we kept in contact. Fell in love," he mutters lowly, wryly, "so, so in love. Got married nearly a year and a half later. Loved each other too much to wait any longer and her father despised me for that but I didn't fucking care. I was with the woman I loved."

Iris shivers, because what Other-Barry is saying is real but it doesn't feel like it, it doesn't sound _sane_. The unnerving part is that it is. It's so real it's painful, causing her heart to throb and thrash.

"However," Other-Barry contemplates, "for the past few months before the wedding, something had been going wrong. The speed force inside of me was battling against me or something, trying to control me, trying to show me what to do and how to think. I fought against it of course, and the thought of her kept me going—was the reason I fought it. How I fought it. But then the speed force was able to win one night."

He pauses, swallowing the emotion threatening to interrupt that both Barry and Iris aren't blind to.

"The night after our wedding. We were sleeping. Sound asleep when suddenly . . . my body felt as if it was on fire. My veins were pounding and all I could see in my dreams were flashes of black lighting and Time Wraiths and demons. The speed force was attacking me, taking control. I woke up and told . . . told Iris to run."

 _Honey, you need to get as far away from me as possible!_

Other-Barry scoffs at his own memories. "She didn't listen of course."

 _No Barry I'm not leaving you. You can fight this. Do it for me._

"I was frantic. I didn't know why it was happening, _what_ was happening to me, why in the hell the speed force wanted me out of all the other speedsters in the world. Why it wanted to take _me_ away from my love. Iris . . . she . . . leaned in and kissed me to try and calm me down but it didn't work. It just angered the speed force to the max and the next thing I knew . . . the speed force—I, _me_ , it—was choking her."

 _Barry, I k-know you're in there. D-Don't do this, sweetie, p-please._

Real time Iris shivers as Barry pulls her closer to his injured side, promising to protect her without saying anything. "I-I watched myself drain the life out of her with my own hands but not by my own will. I remember cradling her body afterwards. Sobbing. Begging to die."

 _I'm so sorry honey, Iris, I'm so fucking sorry. Forgive me. Forgive me._

"The speed force saw an opening. Took control. And then I was gone. Without her, I had nothing to keep me balanced. I became a speedster obsessed with _speed_ and needing to be the fastest man in the entire world. Until . . . the world wasn't enough. I was becoming worse and worse a—and _evil_ , so I sought out someone to help me."

Barry links the dots easily, "So you went to Harrison Wells for help."

Other-Barry chuckles amusingly, "Correct. He agreed to help me, saying studying me would help with his research for a greater future in return, but when we thought we had found a cure . . . we had accidently made it worse. Made the speed force mad. And now, here we are."

Barry and Other-Barry gaze at each other for a while. The bullet wound in Barry's shoulder is the only thing that brings him back to the present. "There's one thing you didn't answer. Why are you here? Why did you kidnap Iris?"

Other-Barry scowls. "If I kill you, kill every one of you, nothing bad can happen to Iris West. If the Flash doesn't exist here, she lives. And she forever will."

Within a spilt second he has Barry pressed against the wall, ready to vibrate a hand through his forehead. "Without you she'll be safe!" He roars, black electric circling around him as his eyes go black but Barry has enough time to throw Other-Barry backwards before he can do any damage, flashing forward and standing protectively in front of Iris.

"Killing me won't solve anything Barry, but I know I will sure as hell never let anything happen to Iris on this earth."

Other-Barry growls, "You. Can't. Promise that!"

He goes to attack Barry but Barry makes it to him first, stopping him by the throat. "If you can catch me, you can kill me," he mutters, before smiling and taking off. Other-Barry follows with a hoarse shout.

They zigzag and bolt through every street in Central City, before Barry comes to a stop on the beach. Other-Barry stops a few feet away from him. Both of their masks are still off but neither cares, no one's around and this is between demon and man. Barry's reminded of his fight with Oliver and their equal start.

 _Ready, set, go._

The waves crash against the sand next to them, and he thinks he can hear Other-Barry's entire body crackle in the distance.

 _Ready._

Barry clenches his fists. Digs his feet into the gravel.

He has to do this, for Iris. For Iris. He can't come back dead or beaten or bloodied or as that damn thing. He needs to come back as Barry. He needs to come back home to Joe and Iris and Caitlin and Cisco and Wells. He needs to make it through this in one piece.

All or nothing.

 _Set._

Other-Barry's tired. He's tired as hell.

He's sick of being the speed force's puppet. But he can't escape. He's trapped—so fucking trapped—and though his heart is barely beating by now the speed force still pushes him to prepare.

To snarl. To arch his heels. To get ready to _run_.

Internally, Other-Barry can only think of one thing. That he will make sure that no Iris West will be hurt again on any earth because of him. He's a demon warped by speed and love, without any morals but one.

To protect Iris Ann West.

 _ **Go.**_

* * *

" _Iris_."

She jumps when her name is called as her eyes snap open and lock onto the speedster standing before her. Her heart is thumping far too fast, her blood is pumping rapidly through her veins, and her head is throbbing. But none of that distracts her as she looks at the man she loves with glassy eyes.

He notices the tears threatening to break loose and sends her a gentle smile, holding out his arms.

"It's alright Iris. I'm here. I won. He's—Zoom's—gone."

Iris doesn't wait a second longer as she launches herself towards him, Barry catching her easily as his arms wrap tightly around her waist. Her lips come up to meet his in an emotional kiss, her hands following suit as they cup both of his cheeks in an attempt to pull him closer.

The kiss wipes away the pain from his shoulder, the pain from his heart, the pain from the fight in one fatal swoop—everything within him calming by the melody of Iris. His heart flutters as he puts just as much into the kiss, to reassure her that he's there, that he's alive, that she's stuck with him. They break apart for air, and their hot breaths are fanning across the other's face as they just stare at each other for a long moment.

 _Ready, set, go._

"Bear," she whispers, as his arms squeeze her waist in reply, "you're _here_."

The smile he sports lights up his entire face. "Where else would I be?" A watery laugh leaves her, breath nearly catching in her throat.

"When you ran off, I-I thought that was going to be the last time I was ever going to see you."

Barry reaches a hand up to brush a stray hair from her cheek, leaning in and leaving a tender kiss on her forehead. "Don't ever think I'm going to leave you. I'm gonna be right here." He pauses, shaking his head, "I thought I wasn't going to get to tell you something."

Her brows knit in confusion. "Tell me what?"

Barry says nothing, instead pulling her in close and resting his head on her shoulder, as she does the same to him (careful to avoid where the bullet is) before his voice rumbles through her body. "That I love you."

Iris can't help but smile, embracing him more. "I love you too."

* * *

"It's nice to have you back Allen," Singh offers gruffly once they cross paths at the prescient the next day and Barry can't help but smile at the secret coils of relief unwinding in Singh's eyes. He's exhausted, and his shoulder still throbs a little but he's there and that's all that matters. Zoom's gone. Iris is safe.

The speed force is peacefully humming beneath his skin.

He nods as Singh pats his shoulder before walking away and says a simple, "Don't scare me like that again," before disappearing down the hallway. Barry lets out a short chuckle, placing his hands in his pockets.

"I won't."

The speed force within him agrees.

* * *

Later that night; Joe, Iris and Barry head out to Jitters for a dinner of coffees and donuts.

"It seems to me," Joe says, reflecting on all the facts about Earth-2 Barry, "that no matter what universe you're on, your love for Iris is everything to you."

Barry nods his head, fumbling with his fingers. He glances over at Iris getting coffee for the three of them by the counter and smiles, though Other-Barry's cries from the cell at the Lab he's holed up in still haunt him.

 _Being with her doesn't keep her safe! You'll kill her! You will kill her!_

He didn't tell Iris that he had ran Zoom to S.T.A.R and had locked him up in one of the most powerful cells there. He didn't want her to ever have to worry about that monster again, so, he simply told her that he was gone. It was true in a way though. Earth-2 Barry was slowly dwindling away as it was, and now . . . Barry wasn't sure how much of Other-Barry was left.

"Yeah," he whispers after a minute, "but there's a difference between those other 'Barry's and me."

Joe looks amused, glancing up at Barry carefully; "Which is?" Barry's lips pull into a determined smile as he glances over at his girlfriend chatting with one of her former coworkers.

"They weren't able to protect her. But I will. For a thousand lifetimes."


End file.
